more items.

about the uncomfortable cc-days "exchange": a friend of mine, who actually was there for the whole thing, thought that my dislike for this particular person was bordering on pathetic immaturity and that i was holding onto things that happened years ago for no good reason and that i really should get over it.

i thought about this for a while, and i suppose, in the run of things, the things this person said and did to me were not really the most horrible that could have happened. people all over the world are bullied, as in actually bullied, much, much worse. and god knows that i was rude to people too, said mean, catty things, backstabbed, and gossiped. but these things (sadly, i think) were pretty much contained within my small circle of friends and NOT to randoms who had nothing to do with anyone i associated with.

i'm going to quit mincing words now, because there really is no honor in it. if i'm going to truly feel these things and own up to my feelings, then i will be blunt about it.

1. jill boerboom has always been a huge bitch to me.

2. she is pretty much the only one from high school i can say this about (unless we start in on the class of 93, and there are a few from this class, but on a much less regular basis so they get let slide).

3. i don't know what exactly i did to make her ALWAYS be rude and mean, but from the sounds of it, i wasn't the only one she did this to.

4. in 7th grade civics class in the back of the classroom, while the rest of us probably sat in utter boredom while chet boen ranted on and on about something, jill boerboom told mikey vogt that i was the flattest one in the class. as we had been in gym class for a good number of months by then, she apparently had credibility to make such a statement having seen me changing in the locker room, first hand. to be fair, i think mikey vogt initiated the conversation by asking who had the biggest rack in the class, but the bit about me somehow made it into the conversation as well. for the rest of the year, the following year and the year after that, every guy in the class made it a point to REMIND me that they knew i was as flat as a board, the flattest one in the class, or (my favorite) TWO DIMENSIONAL. not until working in the fields in the summer before 10th grade was there any release. . . when adam serbus noticed and then announced, ANNA'S NOT AS FLAT AS A BOARD ANYMORE.

5. who the crap has breasts when they are 12 years old?

6. i think the only guys in our class that did not say anything rude to me about this matter were: Mike McDowell, THomas, Stevens, Jody Neu, and Steven Stuhr. Maybe Craig Sparby stayed out of it as well. EVERYONE ELSE SAID SHIT.

7. i have an extremely long and sophisticated memory.

8. i thought that better than faking a nice conversation with her at cc-days, my weirdness and failure to look her in the eye the entire time she stood next to me (while matt and elyssa yelled SHE FUCKING HATES YOU!!! over and over) was at least honest. she has never spoken to me about anything, ever. why she wanted to talk to me about the reunion i will never know. there were plenty of other people from our class who were there, who i spoke with, who i was never close with but had an interest in seeing/catching up with. . . .this was just different. i don't forgive her. and what's more, the shit she pulled with me was probably minor compared with what happened to other girls. she was not nice in volleyball, either.

9. i hope to god my girls never have to deal with someone like this. i know it's part of life, part of growing up, part of growing "character," being able to forgive and forget, etc. I will probably forgive some day but don't bet that i will EVER forget.

a fuller account

and i don't mean jake fuller.

to be fair, my brother was not the only one who let a spot of alcohol "affect" his actions.
looking back on saturday night, i really have to admit that i acted rather foolish myself when it came to being
drunk and disorderly (and seeing/talking to certain people at max's).

i had several drinks. i went to the front row of HAIRBALL and jammed out when they played poison (but leah did it with me, so i don't feel that dumb about it). i had several more drinks but at least had the sense to avoid shots; not one other person i was with, EVEN MATT, can say the same. at about midnight i was starting to get a little tippy on my feet and kind of started staggering. this of course was when the people i really REALLY didn't want to see or talk to came popping out of the woodwork. to deal with this, every time someone tried to make some sort of introduction or say hi to me (where i would rather have NOT interacted at all) i would just solve the problem by creating some other huge spectacle, like dumping someone's drink out on them (mostly matt) or on myself by accident, or tripping and falling (also not intentional but effective nontheless). without going into specifics or being really rude and offensive. . . well, people who know me can probably guess what and who this exchange was with. happily, someone else at the table decided to blurt out a bit of background while i was mopping up a spilled drink along the lines of HEY ANNA'S NOT AS FLAT AS A BOARD ANYMORE. . . . (thankx btw). other things were also uttered by my tablemates, things i can't really spell out here if i want to maintain a pg-rated blog.

anyway. i was very immature, it was kind of embarassing, but when it comes down to it, i am just not ready to MAKE NICE yet. give me another year or so and i'll consider it. for now, THE V FOR VENDETTA REMAINS.



also: we watched the end to harry potter and the phoenix today again, and much to my excitement, bubby has decided he no longer wants to be LUCIUS or DRACO malfoy when he plays harry potter, he wants to be SIRIUS BLACK (complete with whippy wand actions and saying GET AWAY FROM MY GODSON. . . .YOU'VE DONE BEAUTIFULLY, NOW LET ME TAKE IT FROM HERE).

oh the heart bursts with pride sometimes!

ugh.

hmm.

the last time i remember feeling this disgruntled after a cc-days was in 2003 when my brother was extremely drunk, rude, and disrespectful to everyone there save for his gross druggie friends. shortly after bubby was conceived. . . .
all was fine, really, the events went really well, we hit up crazy days, the park festivities, and the parade of course. the band at max's, HAIRBALL, was quite enjoyable.

there was however, the issue of being screamed at by my brother (in front of 4 of his friends and to the severe annoyance of bubby and beebins, who were both WOKEN UP multiple times by this as it was 4am) for his not having his own bed room and therefore having no where to sleep.

i have no words for how. . . AT A LOSS i am. i seriously cannot believe the rudeness of it all. things were extremely uncomfortable when i left this morning and i still honestly do not know really what the hell was going on. my mother of course **tried** to stay out of it but really came in on his side for most of it on a phone call afterwards, so then I am to believe that screaming your head off at 4am in the middle of a house full of sleeping children is acceptable if you happen to be feeling you were given the go-by?

gag.

in other news, i totally fell off the not-using-the-credit-card bandwagon the day before we left.