Some days. . . .

It pains me to complain (no it doesn't) but some days I really wonder what the hell I'm doing.
Working at a place for $8.74 an hour that will not guarantee me any sort of regular schedule or even **begin** to give
me any sort of priority when it comes to holidays and family sickness. . . . JUST so we can have health coverage.

The tradeoff is of course, being insured, having disability insurance, having a 401k and stock options (that are unfortunately both in the CRAPPER) free coffee, and little to no stress from the job itself.

I miss out on a lot. It's annoying.

And what's more annoying is that a national healthcare program would alleviate my need to go outside the home to find employment and leave me with tons more time to do the things I would love to do for a living (sell stuff on etsy, teach piano or violin, teach childbirth education classes, be a doula, and of course write). I'm not complaining about having to work, I really need to be able to, for myself and the family, but sometimes I feel as though I'm trapped in this ridiculous (often dramatic) retail workplace dead-end.

Many days I feel like giving UPS a call (weekends and holidays off).

If I don't get Thanksgiving off I am going to literally set fire to something. Like a starbucks cup.

also

here is my "position" on money, by anna purrington adams:

i am done worrying about it, i have stopped being stressed about it starting last year after KRIS SCOTT aka THE DUKE OF ASH ruined our house and i had to pretty much charge MY LIFE AWAY for about 4months and then periodically here and there in the months following because i birthed another child and wasn't working much. having your house ripped apart and then being told that 1000300200202 more things are wrong with it that need to get fixed, whether you want to or not (whether you can afford them or not) has a way of creating a severely indifferent attitude when it comes to money or debt.

which brings me to the topic of debt. i am of course, still paying for my student loans. i put myself through school, took out my own loans, and chose my own path with no help from anyone but visa, mastercard, and discover (nelnet and firstmark too, i guess). we jumped right into parenthood and home ownership once i was finished, despite the fact that i did not have a money-making job. in fact, i quit my semi-lucrative part time job at northwest because it was more stress than i was willing to put up with and went to starbucks, with way less stress, well, none really, but for WAY less money. as in hardly any whatsoever. free coffee though, that's pretty great. because i have these "conditions" which i chose with my eyes wide open, i have a shit load of debt. i don't really get upset about this, because that's how it had to be.

now, the reason i write this today is because i made a realization. i am very short on patience (especially after duke of ash situation) when it comes to money. is there a way that i could be totally playing it straight, not accumulating any more debt and actually establishing a paydown situation that will get us up and out? absolutely. however, it occurred to me today, that the rest of the world (read: people who HAVE the money and CONTROL the money) are miserly Matt-Rolen-ey GOBLINS who make it difficult for the rest of us to just live the way we want, and i'm not into letting other people decide when or where i spend my money. if you ask me, it's suspicious and abnormal to not have debt. of all the people i know of who are financially in a good position right now, i can think of ONE GUY who went out and did it on his own, no help from parents, scholarships, trust funds, or anything else. if i waited around for "legitimacy" i would have been 91 years old, childless, and still not done with college.

sorry, i had to get that out in the open.