dentists and other unpleasantries

we went to the dentist yesterday, bub and me. it went really well, good reports for both of us but i was a little on edge during the electric scraping procedures. i had to tell her to stay the hell away from my upper two eye teeth because of the sensitivity. . .i almost gagged a couple of times during the x-rays, but all in all, not a bad visit.

the best part of it i think, was when i asked her about coffee and coffee stains on teeth. she explained that the tannins in coffee were actually a benefit for the mouth. . . why, i can't really remember right now, but then she added, "That's as long as you don't dump a bunch of milk and sugar into it. . . " What i said was, "OH no, I use any of that stuff. . . " What i WANTED to say was, "Oh no, I TAKE IT BLACK. LIKE MY MEN."

i dreamed about boiling live chickens in water the night before last.

then also, a regular customer from starbucks and her daughter in either k-mart or target.

also that i left the kids at home alone to go somewhere, thinking matt or leah would show up and it wasn't that big a deal. they may have been sleeping, i can't remember.

seriously.

craziness in my dreams

my boss was unhappy.
he became my mother who was also unhappy.

i was disturbed at how unhappy my mother-boss was
and so my aunt and i staged an intervention

then the mother boss became my old previous boss.
who was yelling at employees in chinese.

very telling.

you can tell EXACTLY where i am in my "cycle" by a few things actually, but if i'm ever confused, all i'll have to do is go back through these blogs and see what i was dreaming about. if there are hot man dreams, i am waxing toward ovulation. bitterness or mother issues? heading toward surfing the crimson wave.

last night beebins FINALLY slept decent. i was THRILLED. however, when she did decide to wake up at 5am i was seriously right in the middle of a Clooney dream. I haven't had one in a really, really long time. it wasn't major it was just that i was going to get to watch a screening of ocean's 13 with him on his laptop on the floor of his hotel room. oh, what could have been!!!

some discomfort

two things. both involving high school chicks from back in the day.

1. one has to do with a friend request on facebook that i am unsure of how I will respond. . .
this after blogging pretty explicitly about my "issues" with said person, how I should at least try to remain honest about my
feelings about this person. . . honesty is all i have right now, since i clearly have no money or status or power when it comes right down to it. i don't want to deal with it. . . .i may just disregard it. . . forever. . . (!)

2. i dreamed last night that a family of a friend of mine (nameless) moved into our old house at 1315 w. fairview avenue. the dream was that instead of the ehlers buying the house, this family did. i was super SUPER pissed about it since the house and property and all the things (blood, sweat, tears) my parents put into improving it were completely ignored and they just went in there and started bulldozing shit and making it all gaudy and "new modern" carmella soprano style with a bunch of disgusting faux-artistic CRAP. charlie and i barged in, probably illegally, to see what had gone on inside and there were random, gaudy fireplaces, horribly ridiculous hanging art pieces everywhere, etc., etc.

i don't mean to sound snotty about the artistic/cosmetic things people do to their houses, but let it just be known that anything done to modify the 1315 west fairview house from its last remaining condition from when we lived there will of course be met with UTTER DISDAIN, be it in a dream or reality. i am this girl with a steel trap memory, i will remember EVERYTHING THAT EVER HAPPENED, ever. by messing with my (old) house, you are messing with my memories, which are equal to a money hungry person's millions of dollars accruing millions of dollars in interest. these are the things that i have, these things are MINE.

this dream was disturbing because instead of some random couple getting the house, it was displaced onto someone i actually know and had spent time with in high school (and am still in contact with today). jealousy issues never dealt with? perhaps.

did i mention. . .

that while very illuminating and beautiful to look at, i really am beginning to loathe full moons?

the chaos around here is 10 times its normal level. the only thing semi-holding things together is that bubby, in effort to secure himself a rubber snake and rubber shark from the rainforest cafe, has been really trying to be good, so his role in this is for once, minimal.

zizzy has 20030404303 fits per day about clothing, changing her outfits, and not being able to get into them properly. SCREAMING fits. she gets super mad and wants my help but doesn't want my help and then gets madder at the fact that she knows that she NEEDS my help. all her clothes are now taken out of her drawers and on hangers. the rest of the clean laundry that i had folded and sorted in a laundry basket is on the top shelf of her closet. i am not dealing with it anymore.


beebins. has not slept in approximately 3 days. the tooth has finally started to ridge out onto her gum line but the thing is, she is not just teething/tired/crazy, she has become the master sleep fighter. kicking and flailing and writhing around like a goddamned SNAKE. i thought the constant sleep interruptions were actually going unnoticed (in and by me) but right after lunch today i had a trademark SPAZ over something small (the telltale sign i have not had enough sleep or am just really really hungry) and i realized that THIS FUCKING SUCKS. she's getting the tylonal tonight, for sure. ugh.

zizzy got all of her teeth without so much as a peep. but this is also the child that slept through the night at 2 months, weaned herself a 8 months, ate every morsel of anything ever put in front of her and basically smiled her way through baby-hood. Oh and spoke in sentences at 13 months too, so if she ever did get upset about something, she told us IN WORDS what she was pissed about.

onto the more interesting items (not really). . .

1. dreamed about joey from work again 2 nights ago. this is getting a little. . . weird. again, not a sexual dream, but the implications of what happened in it are. . . disturbing. we were working at starbucks, i was the shift and he was the barista. then soon, MATT (my husband) comes in and HE's the shift and he's coming in to relieve me and he is going to close the store. so i'm leaving him this massive list of things that need to get done and pretty soon i realize that joey is leaving too, with me. as in, we're leaving together. i don't know if i'm giving him a ride, or if he's coming with me for some other reason or what, but the real issue is that I'm leaving work, leaving all my responsibility on matt, and i'm leaving with some dude. weird.

2. last night, i dreamed about lee gemlich (old manager from northwest that i though was hot). the dream also was not sexual or inappropriate, as far as my dreams normally go, but very random and strange. i was in some sort of detention at the U of M, for something, i don't know what. i think i was supposed to be a grad student. but a group of us were being interrogated for something and some creepy Mrs. Danvers lady was leading the questioning. I was getting mouthy and she was not impressed. soon i see from up in some little observation booth, lee gemlich is up there watching this whole thing. i saw him and wondered what he was doing there, like did he become a professor or something? then he came down because i guess he was the main guy in charge, and he had to get involved. i noticed he was wearing a red coat and goddamned riding boots or something (which now that i think about it, would make sense because he does bear resemblance to the actor jason isaacs who has played the main bad guy in the mel gibson film THE PATRIOT in which he would deffo have had on a red coat and riding boots. . . he is also the actor that plays LUCIUS MALFOY, who i also find intensely hot) and soon HE'S the one questioning me. but when he came down i had to sit down on this weird bar stool and face away from him while he paced around me in circles. the only awkward part of this whole thing was when i suddenly realized he was touching my back, as if to give me a back rub or something.

which, in my hierarchy of wants and needs right now, would rank WAY above sex.

The Dreams

Every dream I had last night was fricking LOONEY.

1. That I was in some large estate being chased by a huge COUGAR or something, with many other random people. The point of it all was that we were supposed to be there, avoiding this thing, like it was a game or something. I got locked into a closet where there was an open space next to the door threshold and I had to grab the cougar's paw with claws exposed (shredding my skins) in order to push it out and keep it from reaching in at me and swiping me.

2. That I had breast cancer. I had weird thoughts about this like, DO I HAVE TO STOP DRINKING CAFFEINE NOW, WILL IT MAKE THINGS WORSE? That was the first thought I came up with. . .

3. That I was at work, with this new fangled pastry case that piled all the coffee cakes up in a nice, pretty arrangement, when this couple came in and started throwing me all kinds of attitude about getting blueberry coffee cake that the refused to acknowledge was really blueberry. The girl had long light blond hair and kept pointing to it and saying NO THIS ONE! And I would keep repeating, THE BLUEBERRY ONE? NO THIS ONE RIGHT HERE!!! (which was clearly the blueberry one). Finally I guess I had had it because she was really pissing me off so I grabbed her by her long blond hair and pulled her head down so she was whacked right up next to the glass and I said, THAT IS GODDAMNED BLUEBERRY COFFEE CAKE, YOU GOT IT?!?!??!!

yes, I am apparently having many issues unconciously.

Dreams

Last night I dreamed that John Neal (RYAN FULLER) had his trailer parked out in front of the house on the street. I was sleeping on the couch and woke up to him ringing the doorbell. I decided NOT to answer it and then he walked around the house and rang the other doorbell. I didn't answer that one either. Then I knew that he was going to come around to the deck door (which of course was unlocked) and let himself in the house. Next thing I know I am in my bed upstairs but instead of him it's CHRIS WITTENBERG (CASEY FULLER). No more details are really necessary other than that it was very disturbing and probably realistically things that he's both said and done, numerous times.