The last few days have been wretched. My own disgust over what has turned out to be the worst decision I ever made (haircut from a random) is obviously influencing the way I see the world. What has me the most stressed is through this, I have to admit to myself that the way I look, physically, affects the way I feel about myself. Or in other words, appearances DO matter. I feel like every time I see the way I look in a window or mirror I seriously want to scream and/or pull a Britney Spears. . . .(un)fortunately there are no electric clippers around. Although a shaved head WOULD be an improvement.
I am very annoyed that I was not smart enough to see or know that a bad outcome would put me into a funk like this, or that I was giving this dude that much power over my self image. Perhaps this is why I need to just grow my hair long so as always to be able to have a ponytail option or bun or at least something non-threatening. Now my only option is to totally get rid of it, the gross bluntness on the sides where the thickness is so ridiculous and bad that it makes me mushroom head. . . . ugh.,
To "deal" with this, and to attempt to solve my own problem (that this is even a problem also annoys me. . . .there are after all starving children on the planet, wars going on, pain and actual suffering, etc.) I have another appointment with Slavka at Macy's tomorrow night. The woman who has been credited with every **decent** haircut I've had since 1998. Please, please, PLEASE let her have some way to fix this.
Also: we witnessed a bus accident on the way home from super targs today. Some dude in a motorized wheelchair **almost** got creamed, but actually got tapped as the bus failed to stop or even slow down until after he started rapidly backing up away from it as he crossed in a crosswalk when he had a green light and the bus should have yielded. He was unhurt, as far as I could tell. . . hopefully he is all right.
The image, by the way, is an accurate representation of the way my hair looks on top of my stem-y neck.
6 comments:
Don't feel bad about caring about your appearance I go through the same thing, i constantly battle in my head all the starvation and war and awfulness going on the world and feel bed caring about myself, its stupid of course I should care about myself and the way you look can totally affect how you feel and I see it as If i feel good about myself I can be a much better parent, I almost put on mascara this morening but Gianna was calling and well like usual there was not time, I spend no time with picking out nice clothes, I have been wearing sweatjackets and t-shirts and jeans for 4 years or longer, I barely wear skirts unless its summer. i really only color my hair because that is the one thing I feel keeps me sane, When I'm all light brown hair I look tire and pale and well I feel that way if I look that way. I also recently joined a health club because of actual health reasons, not totally vanity, even though it would be nice to have arms like the chick in Terminator 1. So I hope the woman whos doing your haircut fix improves it but if she does not do what I did when my hair once got way to fuckin short (i look like my brother with short hair, its awful)I looked really butch with short hair and it out me in a depression somewhat, i invested in a really cute hat and wore it all the time basically until it grew out, then I wore this beautiful blue velvet headband and that helped a lot, i was wearing that headband when I was at Mcad, I still have it, Oh yeah and I bleached it alot while it was growing out just because I liked the texture better.
I hope I either made you laugh or helped in some way
slavka will kick it out and make it beauuutiful! you can always rosemary it and be all 60s! OR, we can call the aveda tute' and we can see if they need any hair models for teaching extensions and get really really long hair!
oh, and i make 287282 comments about my weight daily so, no worries on appearance obsessions, you're fine.
thanks guys. i may look into a headband or maybe a very large bandana.
thanks guys. i may look into a headband or maybe a very large bandana.
hey - I have really difficult hair and it took me 30 years but I have finally found a fab hair dresser. Don't believe me? Check out my facebook photos. Anywho if all else fails we will get you in with Jamie - She works miracles - hand to God.
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