bluntness.

I have very hostile, rude feelings about several "events" over the last week.

People and their boundary issues can beat it. It's so annoying.
John Neal, people at work, and anyone else who questions my intentions in breeding children, I think, can mind their own
business. Are we in China? Do I have 17 children? Is this an environmental issue? Because I can think of a few things to comment on (two cars, two Harleys? Do these things contribute to the depletion of resources and petrol?) I am not some goddamned crack mother over here, accidentally conceiving willy-nilly between my rehab stints.

Martha Sears said it best when people gave her the what-for after having 8 kids. . . . .
THE WORLD NEEDS MY KIDS.

I am soooooooooooo tired. Thank God Katie let me go an hour early today and I didn't have to work the entire nine hours of what I was scheduled. My eyes feel like they are bleeding.

Harry Potter in 40 minutes and Pitfall cross stitch. . . .Twin Peaks after that. 3 cuties that snuggled and played with me all night. Sandwiches from Lund's deli. Happiness.

Roman and Minnie's Letter to Guy Woodhouse

Guy:

We are both thrilled after hearing your decision to "join" us in our endeavors. This brings us more joy than you or Rosemary could ever know; perhaps after the birth you may actually want to consider postponing your relocation to Beverly Hills to examine our cause more thoroughly, Minnie and I both think you would make a splendid addition to the coven. Of course Rosemary may take a bit longer to see things our way. . .

We thought we'd send you some helpful bits of advice to draw upon during the next eight months. In collaboration with Dr. Sapirstein's orders, here they are, and we strenuously beg you NOT TO DEVIATE FROM THEM at any time. The results could be more than a little disastrous, and I don't think we have to remind you of all that's riding on this little bundle, now that your ass is on the line too. Don't forget that.

1. She MUST wear the necklace. If she takes it off you MUST convince her to put it back on. Use guilt, persuasion, or any other means necessary. Remember, you're an actor. Use your talents. P.S. If the string breaks, don't worry about it, we can have another one made immediately.

2. She MUST drink the drinks Minnie brings her. We realize there is not a whole lot you can do if she decides against this, but Minnie can whip up some more chocolate mouse if worse comes to worse and Rosemary needs to be sedated.

3. Confidentially, this pregnancy is going to cause Rosemary a lot of pain. This is due to the fact that the son of satan will actually attempt to devour her from the inside out if it finds itself low on tannis reserves, starting with its own placenta, the womb, and eventually all of Rosemary's inner entrails. This is why the aforementioned items are crucial. If Rosemary happens to expire we are fucked, not to put too fine a point on it. The big man isn't going to take well to having to start over again from scratch, especially after the Geonaffrio debacle, and I, for one, would prefer to live out the remainder of my life without the experience of being his majesty, The Dark Prince's sodomy doll.

4. We think Edward Hutchins may be a problem. Can you get back to us on this?

As always, we're willing to answer any questions you may have; we're right across the hall, remember. Pop on over for a vodka blush tomorrow evening and we'll draw up a contract proposal for Universal Studios.

Greatfully yours in the year before the Year One,
Roman and Minnie Castevete.

my least favorite libra. . .

Tonight at work this blond-haired dead ringer for Cory Rodelius came in and disturbed me. This normally isn't that strange, although seeing 6'2 light blond haired men seems to be a real rarity these days, but considering the fact that TODAY IS HIS BIRTHDAY. . . I am in a real state of puckery discomfort.

If I could see him now I would really like to say a few things, that is if I could control myself from vomiting just from the site of him.
1. Hey, remember when you tried to jump out of the explorer on the road to St. Scholastica WHILE IT WAS MOVING?!?!?! And then walked from there all the way up to LAKESIDE in October? Fucking Psycho.

2. Remember when you whipped the screwdriver (drink with vodka and orange juice NOT the tool) onto Lois's carpet in anger when you found out I (gasp) went to Willmar with Alisha and didn't tell you? Fucking asshole psycho.

3. Remember your crazier than a shithouse rat antics when I finally had the sense to break up with you? Fabricating car accidents? Calling the front desk at St. Scholastica about 30 times in one night? Godammned fucking asshole psycho. Thank god you're not a part of my life.

FORGIVE AND FORGET!!!!
peace-out.

my short story debut.

starts tonight.

I am beginning small, adapting something from a dream I had when I was about 8.
Friends in Her Pockets.

Small child. Being ignored. Ends up at this creepy old lady's house for dinner.

two rants: feminism and politics.

1. I've given a lot of thought lately (and technically this probably should go on my media rants blog, but it's more applicable to my "inner sanctum" of thoughts than just media in general) to ACTION BLOCKBUSTERS. They are all about men, written by men, and never about any interesting women unless they are there to service the men sexually. There are a few exceptions, of course, (KILL BILL being the best one, and about a MOTHER, no less), but why leave out the woman? Independence Day: First Lady gets killed, other 2 supporting women stand by while the dudes get to go kick ass. AND WHO'S WATCHING THAT LITTLE GIRL? no one. War of the Worlds: Mother absent while excuse me, TOM CRUISE gets to try to get the kids to safety? Please. Armegeddon: aside from being the cheesiest movie EVER, no mother. I realize that these films are made for men by men and that men, young ones that like to see a lot of ass-kicking make up the target audience, but hey writers: do not write about things you do not understand. Back to the issue of blind Mary Ingalls leaving her infant son in the bassinette to burn while she helped other kids get out of the school. NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED. This had to have been written by some goddamned MAN without a clue. These blockbusters are like that. Mothers don't leave their children like that, they wouldn't allow them to be in situations like these, and not one mother that I have ever known would trust the kids to the father if life and death were on the line. There is nothing like the fire and passion inside a mother's heart. . . .not even inside the father. It's something that doesn't often get discussed, but the guys just don't get the same bond we do, I'm sorry, but it's true. We birthed these babies, many of us carry them around, attached to our bosoms, and wake up with their every whimper every night of their lives.

1. The first lady would not allow the daughter to just be gallivanting around the oval office, even if she was out of town, when shit like the aliens taking over the country was going down. Her FIRST call would have been to secure that girl in some underground bunker somehwere, like Cheney.

2. The red headed mother in War of the worlds would have run her ass back to Tom Cruise's crappy old shack to pick up her kids the SECOND something crazy started going down. Especially since she didn't trust him much to being with.

3. Mary ingalls would never have left her baby alone when there was chaos going on around her, like the school being on fire. She may not have been able to see, but she would have gotten herself and the baby OUT. This issue seriously drives me INSANE with anger.


Politics:

There is a lot of talk now about the economy being shitty and that the sky is falling.
NEWS FLASH: IT'S BEEN SHITTY FOR THE LAST 8 YEARS!!! IT'S ALL WE KNOW!!!!

Like Robinson Crusoe

(which I'm STILL reading. . . .since early this summer, but I'm on page 203 now at least).


I have decided that instead of allowing myself to devote any energy at all to worrying about what is going on in the news or the economy (when the sky is falling), I am just going to go about my business and not bring those things into "my island." TAKING IT OUT OF THE EQUATION, if you will.

I am happier when these things are not weighing on my mind. I have pretty much done a good job going about my business this summer, despite the distressing world events, starving and abused children, economy not doing well, starbucks stock going below $16, etc. I lived my life and didn't let negative events influence my outlook or mood.

In order to continue this I am seriously (for real this time) not reading the paper anymore. I haven't seen the news in months, probably years, just because of the business and small child factor, but now I'm dedicating myself to not read headlines or look at stories because I don't want any of their badness. I'll allow the crossword puzzle and/or the NY Times book review, but that's it.

also

here is my "position" on money, by anna purrington adams:

i am done worrying about it, i have stopped being stressed about it starting last year after KRIS SCOTT aka THE DUKE OF ASH ruined our house and i had to pretty much charge MY LIFE AWAY for about 4months and then periodically here and there in the months following because i birthed another child and wasn't working much. having your house ripped apart and then being told that 1000300200202 more things are wrong with it that need to get fixed, whether you want to or not (whether you can afford them or not) has a way of creating a severely indifferent attitude when it comes to money or debt.

which brings me to the topic of debt. i am of course, still paying for my student loans. i put myself through school, took out my own loans, and chose my own path with no help from anyone but visa, mastercard, and discover (nelnet and firstmark too, i guess). we jumped right into parenthood and home ownership once i was finished, despite the fact that i did not have a money-making job. in fact, i quit my semi-lucrative part time job at northwest because it was more stress than i was willing to put up with and went to starbucks, with way less stress, well, none really, but for WAY less money. as in hardly any whatsoever. free coffee though, that's pretty great. because i have these "conditions" which i chose with my eyes wide open, i have a shit load of debt. i don't really get upset about this, because that's how it had to be.

now, the reason i write this today is because i made a realization. i am very short on patience (especially after duke of ash situation) when it comes to money. is there a way that i could be totally playing it straight, not accumulating any more debt and actually establishing a paydown situation that will get us up and out? absolutely. however, it occurred to me today, that the rest of the world (read: people who HAVE the money and CONTROL the money) are miserly Matt-Rolen-ey GOBLINS who make it difficult for the rest of us to just live the way we want, and i'm not into letting other people decide when or where i spend my money. if you ask me, it's suspicious and abnormal to not have debt. of all the people i know of who are financially in a good position right now, i can think of ONE GUY who went out and did it on his own, no help from parents, scholarships, trust funds, or anything else. if i waited around for "legitimacy" i would have been 91 years old, childless, and still not done with college.

sorry, i had to get that out in the open.

a pet peeve

one of the most miserable things i can think of is boredom.

boredom in my life and boredom in other people, like their personalities. i can't think of anything worse than being a boring person. how does this even happen anymore? i'm not saying every single person out there has to be an eccentric, rambling, looney, but hey, say something about SOMETHING that's interesting.

boo.