Deep Thoughts

I figured it was about time I gave my two cents about what's going on in the nation right now and how the economy is the worst we've ever seen it. For a while I was worried that I would be losing my health benefits through Starbucks because our store (and all stores) have cut labor and made it impossible for anyone to only be available for just 20 hours each week, which is the minimum number of hours required to qualify for healthcare, stock options, 401k, and tuition reimbursement. Eventually, I resigned myself from worry and figured I would either get the hours somehow, or if I didn't, I would just do what everyone else does in that situation and hope no one got sick for a while until I could qualify again.

I have had a number of generous people give me their hours and actually need to make trades for different reasons, and this has been surprisingly constant since the hour cut in the beginning of December. This situation, although generally less severe, was the case in the first quarter of last year too, and by the grace of God, I got my hours and we were fine. So I didn't really stay too concerned about as everything seemed to be on the up-and-up. Something else that took my attention off myself and my issues was the fact that several other employees are not just struggling to maintain their health benefits; they really don't have time to worry about that. They are struggling to pay their RENT. At least two people have told me that they haven't been to the grocery store in months, they just eat while they're at work. Once I realized what was actually going on, not only in Starbucks but nationwide, I'm sure, I had to admit that my situation wasn't anywhere near as troubling as I thought. I brought a bag of groceries, (things we had doubles of or items that were impractical for kids) to our store and left it in the back room with a note, "HELP YOURSELF;" it was gone within the hour.

U4EA laid off two employees yesterday and put the remaining two (one of which is Matt) on contract until further notice. So yes, it's hitting home now.

I understand that things are bad. Peoples' moods have been foul, I've been foul a few days myself. I don't even read the headlines on the Star Tribune website anymore when I look at the weather forecast because I don't want to know which companies had massive layoffs. I think things are going to have to get worse before they get better, but constantly having to consider all these things sometimes gets to be frustrating for me and I have to dive into whatever the kids are doing like coloring or playing legos or reading Brown Bear.

I guess what has helped me the most through all of this negativity is the fact that no matter how bad things get, there is usually always a way. It might not be easy, but there's a way. Just look at the Duggers, for Christ's sake.

I keep reading THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING a little each day. It really does help to keep a positive attitude. I remember back to a very negative time in our lives recently, the rebuilding of the house and our relocation to the Marriot Residence Inn in Edina for 3 months. I stayed positive for about 2 weeks and then let every tiny thing start to grate on my nerves. I was pregnant with Beatrix, about 7 months at the beginning, and I would actually have to lay down and breathe deep most days because the constant stressing and worrying would bring on contractions. Granted, this was not just something I blew out of proportion; our insurance adjuster and our construction project manager were both extremely out to lunch, never called us back, and took their time with basically everything to the point of ignoring us for weeks. I carried negativity onto everything else that I did. If I wasn't actually dealing with the issues or spending my time trying to get these people on the phone (and I HATE phones) I was complaining about them. If I wasn't complaining about the issues I was dealing with my mother, who complained about how we were handling things and what we should be doing instead. If I wasn't doing that I was seriously pissed off at people who kept telling us to be positive. If anyone around me complained about ANYTHING I was furious that they would have the gaul to even consider getting upset about anything around me; our problems were HUGE and their issues were miniscule. I was not a happy person. It was one time in my life where I felt that things were not hopeful.

The silver lining of course was that the house DID get put back together, it is much nicer now, and Matt and I learned not to really get upset about anything anymore. Things are much easier to put into perspective once you have been uprooted with your family with no end in sight for months. Money seems so much less important once you've had to basically charge 3 months and 30k of home improvements onto your credit cards and then hope to God that your mortgage guy can get the appraiser to approve the numbers and then get you a refinance all before Matt's job ends up in the crapper.

I know people are becoming desperate and that things seem to be hopeless, but humanity somehow finds a way. We'll get it put back together; maybe come out of it a little wiser too.