more items.

about the uncomfortable cc-days "exchange": a friend of mine, who actually was there for the whole thing, thought that my dislike for this particular person was bordering on pathetic immaturity and that i was holding onto things that happened years ago for no good reason and that i really should get over it.

i thought about this for a while, and i suppose, in the run of things, the things this person said and did to me were not really the most horrible that could have happened. people all over the world are bullied, as in actually bullied, much, much worse. and god knows that i was rude to people too, said mean, catty things, backstabbed, and gossiped. but these things (sadly, i think) were pretty much contained within my small circle of friends and NOT to randoms who had nothing to do with anyone i associated with.

i'm going to quit mincing words now, because there really is no honor in it. if i'm going to truly feel these things and own up to my feelings, then i will be blunt about it.

1. jill boerboom has always been a huge bitch to me.

2. she is pretty much the only one from high school i can say this about (unless we start in on the class of 93, and there are a few from this class, but on a much less regular basis so they get let slide).

3. i don't know what exactly i did to make her ALWAYS be rude and mean, but from the sounds of it, i wasn't the only one she did this to.

4. in 7th grade civics class in the back of the classroom, while the rest of us probably sat in utter boredom while chet boen ranted on and on about something, jill boerboom told mikey vogt that i was the flattest one in the class. as we had been in gym class for a good number of months by then, she apparently had credibility to make such a statement having seen me changing in the locker room, first hand. to be fair, i think mikey vogt initiated the conversation by asking who had the biggest rack in the class, but the bit about me somehow made it into the conversation as well. for the rest of the year, the following year and the year after that, every guy in the class made it a point to REMIND me that they knew i was as flat as a board, the flattest one in the class, or (my favorite) TWO DIMENSIONAL. not until working in the fields in the summer before 10th grade was there any release. . . when adam serbus noticed and then announced, ANNA'S NOT AS FLAT AS A BOARD ANYMORE.

5. who the crap has breasts when they are 12 years old?

6. i think the only guys in our class that did not say anything rude to me about this matter were: Mike McDowell, THomas, Stevens, Jody Neu, and Steven Stuhr. Maybe Craig Sparby stayed out of it as well. EVERYONE ELSE SAID SHIT.

7. i have an extremely long and sophisticated memory.

8. i thought that better than faking a nice conversation with her at cc-days, my weirdness and failure to look her in the eye the entire time she stood next to me (while matt and elyssa yelled SHE FUCKING HATES YOU!!! over and over) was at least honest. she has never spoken to me about anything, ever. why she wanted to talk to me about the reunion i will never know. there were plenty of other people from our class who were there, who i spoke with, who i was never close with but had an interest in seeing/catching up with. . . .this was just different. i don't forgive her. and what's more, the shit she pulled with me was probably minor compared with what happened to other girls. she was not nice in volleyball, either.

9. i hope to god my girls never have to deal with someone like this. i know it's part of life, part of growing up, part of growing "character," being able to forgive and forget, etc. I will probably forgive some day but don't bet that i will EVER forget.