Morning Pages February 16

Not as trippingly off the tongue today. . .

Baby woke up multiple times, peed her entire crib. Difficult to get back to sleep so brain is stalled.

Dreamed about someone from NWA again, which is common. This time he was playing with my kids, had all my perfume bottles on a bed. Very strange.

I am oscillating back and forth about my spirituality. I would like to join a church and actually attend some services here and there but my work schedule kind of makes this impossible. I would be okay going Catholic, Methodist, or UCC, all of which I have links to presently, but this would require me getting Sundays off or at least Sunday mornings or Saturday nights, and with the way everyone's hours have been axed, I can't take that risk right now if we want to maintain health insurance. Until I am able to formally join a place or at least show up every now and then, I will have to take pleasure in my own personal private spirituality, which is fine. It gives me hope and is great for optimism.

I truly feel that Guitar Hero, although only a game and not actual musicianship, has a purpose and value in society. Plus it's very, very fun.

Someone I work with and I have been having conversations on the myth of Minnesota Nice. My thought on this is that it does exist, just mostly not in the metro area. When I think of Minneapolis and St. Paul, especially the college educated, yuppy areas, I only think of isolation and sometimes awkward discomfort. I don't really like this whole line of reasoning, because it makes me sad that it's kind of negative, but it seems like many times people either don't have any personality, or don't wish to share it with random other people who may or may not have an impact on their daily lives (i.e. customer service individuals, teachers, nurses, mechanics, etc.) The horribly long winter does not aid this situation at all. People get kind of foul from it. It's part of my whole issue with the loss of humanity that has occurred in the last 10 years. It's upsetting and puzzling. I blame the parents who just quit teaching their children to be kind and respectful.

If I could go anywhere right now I would take everyone to Kona and rent out 4 condos at the Casa de Emdeko. 2 weeks, minimum. The sun and the waves and the smell of plumerias are things that everyone should experience. My son would love looking for eels and urchin anenomes. My older daughter would pick flowers all day and smell them all. The baby would toddle all over, back and forth and probably try to dive into the water. We would eat macadamia-crusted mahi mahi at Huggo's for dinner, have greasy McDonald's lunches, and get cinnamon rolls the size of bowling balls at Lava Java every morning for breakfast. Matt would get his beloved canned coffees from the convenience mart outside the casa and have a great time looking for geckos and big leaves with Bubby. If I was in my right mind and cared at all for my inner sanity, I would literally do this.

Today.